The Drinkingman's Creed

by The Kickass Parody Project



Parody of "The Riflemen's Creed"


This is my beer.
There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My beer is my best friend. It is my life.
I must master it as I must master my life.
Without me, my beer is useless.
Without my beer, I am useless.
I must drink my beer, true.
I must drink more than my friend who is trying to out-drink me.
I must out-drink him before he out-drinks me. I will.
My beer and I know that what counts in bars is not the rounds we drink, the noise of our outburst, nor the smoke we make.
We know that it is the beers that count.
We will drink.
My beer is human, even as I, because it is my life.
Thus, I will drink it and another.
I will drink its deliciousness, its strength, its hops, its barleys, at nights and in barrels.
I will keep my beer cold and ready, even if I am drunk already.
We will become part of each other. We will.
Before you, I swill these three.
My beer and I are the drunkards of our community.
We are the bastards in our fantasy league.
We are the savorers of life.

So be it, until football is upon us and there is much rivalry, and feasts!


released July 31, 2016
All credit goes to beer, the inspiration for this.



all rights reserved


The Kickass Parody Project Seattle, Washington

Having been called "a more vulgar version of "Weird Al" Yankovic" - The Kickass Parody Project (K.P.P.) is unofficially in the works. It features songs you already know with ridiculous new lyrics by El Captainkickass (me!). It only has 3 requirements: to be poorly produced, borderline stupid and totally hilarious. With guests. ... more

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